Well, are you guys prepared for the Chinese New Year Reunion Dinner? Ha, you must be thinking that I have really gone bonkers this time. Not yet finish preparing for that Christmas Party and I am already thinking of the Chinese New Year Reunion Dinner? Well, true. One step at a time is the best policy. But you guys need to remember, for the next year, the Lunar New Year is in January. Not like the usual “some where in February” like what we have the previous years. So, yes, although the year is not over yet, we still have to prepare for the Chinese New Year Reunion Dinner soon. You don’t know to be caught in the rush for restaurants in the last minute, do you?

Nowadays Singaporeans do not have the time (or the energy) to cook for the Lunar New Year Reunion Dinner. Worst still, some of us have to go to different places for Reunion Dinners like with our in-laws and what-not. So, how do we find time to prepare for so many dinners with our hectic schedules? We don’t. Seriously. Very few of us cook for the reunion dinner. Nowadays the norm is to eat out. That’s why Chinese restaurants in Singapore are making a killing (if you don’t mind the unlucky word) during Chinese New Year. And that is why there are squeezing in so many customers in the restaurants. You get cramped places and dinner shifts! This meant that you are allowed like 1 or 1 and a half hours to eat your reunion dinner before they kick you out for the next group of customers. Yes, that also meant that you got no time to talk to your relatives. Don’t you just love Singapore and the businessmen in charge of the country?

And oh, the restaurants charge you a hand and a leg for that 1 and a half hour of makan. Don’t expect that 100 dollars to be enough for your reunion dinner. Some restaurants charge like S$900 for a table of 5. Even “cheap” restaurants are not cheap during Chinese New Year. What do you expect? Chinese New Year is the best period for them to chop their customers’ heads off, even to the point of daylight robbery. But I guess since everyone is doing it and even with the economy supposedly doing very badly, we have to endure the legalized robbery that occurs every year. Even Christmas season we don’t see the bandits hiding in the restaurants. Okay, okay, I know it is the Chinese New Year, how about the quality of the food? First of all, if previous years were to set the presidence of the quality and standard of the food during Chinese New Year, I have to say you guys will be shocked. I have eaten at many restaurants during the Chinese New Year Eve and some of the food they served tasted worse than my own cooking. And when I say it happens, you will be again shocked to realized that even in high class restaurants which are Singapore’s best, the quality of food drops significantly during Chinese New Year. That and the standard of service drops as well. The staff will be swamped with so many customers and orders that you would think you were at the hawker centre.

No, I am not choosy with my food, nor do I always indulge myself with fine food and wine that I cannot eat at the hawker centre. But for god’s sake I am paying hundreds of dollars for the food and the service, the very least the restaurants can do is to provide a little of both.  Don’t always think of making a lot of money. Greed can come back and haunt you.

Anyway, if you are still planning to go out for your Chinese New Year Reunion Dinner (or if you have no choice in the matter), please take a look at my list of Singapore Chinese Restaurants. I wish you all the best.

One of the biggest advantage of renting a vehicle is that you don’t need all the hassle of purchasing a vehicle. I am pretty sure that if you have bought a vehicle before, you would understand what I mean. You need to get all your particulars, your bank information, your credit, your insurance and much more. It is just so troublesome. Furthermore when you purchase a car, the value of the car immediately drops. This is definitely something which you would want to consider when you are thinking of buying your own car. And after you purchase your car, you will need to take it in for servicing and repairs. You will also need to worry about paying for insurance and premiums. So much trouble just for a car to bring you to and fro from work.

So why not rent a car? You might think that it is more expensive in the long run but do remember that your car do depreciates in value over time. It does not mean that the price of your car remains as high when you sell it in a few years down the road.  How about insurance? Remember, you will need to pay for insurance yourself and this will factor into the cost. How about servicing and repairs? You will have to pay for those as well after the first few free servicings. Unless you are a real car fan, do you really need to own your car? Why not let others worry about insurance, servicing and among others for you. All you want is a vehicle that drives you to work. Some rental companies even allow you to choose your own model, make and colour if you sign a long term contract with them. So, this is just like getting your very own vehicle, less the headaches.

Most rental companies will provide you with alternate transport when they send the vehicle in for servicing or repairs. You don’t need to even send the vehicle for servicing yourself! You don’t need to do anything else. All you have to do is to pay for the fuel and parking. That’s it. What could be simpler than that?

So if you are interested in renting a vehicle, please take a look at the listing of Singapore Car / Vehicle Rental Companies I have created. Hope that it can be a very useful guide for you.

With the huge influx of foreigners into Singapore, I am worried that the Singapore culture may get diluted some what. As the large number of foreigners form part of Singapore and it’s society in general, it may get difficult for Singaporeans to differentiate from others. So I would propose a Singaporean Purity Law which ensures the purity of Singaporeans. Just like the German Beer Purity law which ensures that their beer is not tainted with melamine or taste like A&W root beer, this Singaporean purity law will protect Singaporeans from becoming foreigners and vice versa. It is our assurance against contamination in our bloodline. We all like things pure, don’t we?

Anyway, this is what I am proposing for the Singaporean Purity Law.

1. Poor Genes. According to some vastly intelligent Chinese in Taiwan, a good portion of Chinese Singaporeans are from South Fujian who came to Singapore as Coolies or farmers. So they, unlike the people in Hong Kong or Taiwan, are of poorer stock and pain stupid. So it gathers that most Singaporean Chinese have poorer genes and are stupider. We need to add this to our Singaporean Purity Law because good genes means that we have to be like Hong Kong or Taiwan. This law applies only to Singaporean Chinese.
2. Queuing. Singaporeans must always queue. Only exception is when you are entering public buses or trains. In this scenario, Singaporeans have to rush up the bus or into the train without allowing others to get off first. Other than that, you must enjoy queuing, like queuing for the McDonald’s Hello Kitty Doll and for the new EZLink card. If not, you are not a Singaporean. Go to Taiwan.
3. Overspending. Singaporeans must always spend beyond their means. Like those Singaporeans who spent a huge sum of money buying washing machines and decking out their “dream kitchen” when none of them ever wash their own clothes or even know how to cook. If they did cook, we would all die of food poisoning without the help of China. Plus, they must always buy new expensive cars they cannot afford which sucks petrol like a sponge every year. Cool.
4. Cannot think. If you are wondering how the hell would an GST (tax) increase help the poor, then you are not a Singaporean. If you are wondering how increasing the bus/train fares of a profit making government controlled public transport company would help improve the bus/train service, you are also not a Singaporean. You are an European Colonist hell bend on destroying Singapore and all that it stands for. Go die fast.
5. Kiss Ass. Singaporeans must always kiss the ass of foreigners but must be smart about it. Last time when the US & European countries were “the king”, we kiss the ass of the US & European countries and call China names. Now, China is “the king”, we kiss the ass of China and call US & European countries names. If you disagree, you can kiss my ass. This law applies to ALL Singaporeans. So if you are someone are from China, remember to wipe your ass properly today.
6. Bitch. Singaporeans must always listen to what the government say. So if the government tells you to jump, you say how high. If the government tells you to pay more taxes, you say where is my cheque book? If the government tells you to cut your pay, you say cut more please. If the government tells you to vote for them because it is good for you, you say sure thing. If the government tells you to bend down and spread your legs, you say how wide. If you aren’t a bitch, go to Hong Kong and stay there. With this law in place, you can easily differentiate foreigners and Singaporeans because of the barking when being screwed.
7. “Lah“. Singaporeans must always end the sentence with “lah” or “one”. So if you are going to go to the restroom, you will tell your friends “I am going to the Toilet laaaah!”. Or if you disagree with your friends, you will say “Where got like that one?” or use the more refined “Fuck You Laaaah!”. Of course, this law itself requires more refinement.
8. Tissue Paper Pack. Singaporeans “book” tables with tissue paper packs. So if you would like to “book” a table in a crowded coffee shop or hawker centre, place a tissue paper pack on the table. Officially, you can use it to “book” benches, chairs, toilets, cinema seats, hotel rooms, F1 gallery seats…..If it doesn’t work because some big shot angmo don’t care, “book” with some semen and clean up later with the tissue paper.
9. Ignore Old People and Pregnant Women. If you are a true-blue Singapore, you will have to ignore those old people and pregnant women on the buses or trains. Just because they are old or pregnant and look pathetic doesn’t mean that we have to help them by giving them our seats. And we will have to ignore the signs on the buses and trains that tells us to give the seats to old people and pregnant women. Just like our government, they are there for show only. If you think that it makes you look bad, pretend to sleep when you see them. If you want to give up your seat for these group of people, you will not be included as an true-blue Singaporean and you will die a miserable death.
10. Block others. Real Singaporeans spend all their time blocking others. If you are in a crowded shopping mall, it would be prudent to stop your entire family of 10 in the middle of the pathway and start talking about the weather and how great the Singapore government is.  Or you can just bring your 5 snotty kids and 4 angmo sized strollers along to those shows at Suntec City to block everyone. It would also make sense to block others from entering buses or trains by standing at the entrance of the bus or train. The Singapore slogan is “Who did you block today?”. The winner is the one who blocks the most people. The winner gets a medal from the government.

Well, that’s all I have for this Singaporean Purity Law. If you have any thoughts or ideas on improving this law, please post some comments below. I would very much like to ignore you.

Eh? Do you think so? Just look at Singapore. It is small, overcrowded and the streets are narrow. Worst of all, they are not meant for racing. They have never been designed for fast moving vehicles to travel on and when we are talking about the GP, we are talking about super fast vehicles. Even those road legal super cars are considered slow when we are comparing them against those vehicles meant for the tracks. So now, they come up with an brilliant idea to host the F1 show in Singapore at night. Yes, it is a night race. Again, imagine driving a super fast vehicle at night when there will be at least a little less visibility. Sure you will have flood lights but are they really that good for drivers? I am sure that there are a number of drivers who will still find problems driving at night.

How about the racing fans? People come to F1 shows to watch fast moving racing cars. They want excitement. They want speed. They want all the fancy vehicles. But the show is at night.  And due to the road conditions and the visibility of the area, I am sure that the drivers will be driving slower than what they usually do if it was held in the day. Oh, and how about the road? Are they used to the narrow, winding roads in Singapore? After driving in big open spaces in real race tracks in other countries, we would want them to drive their vehicles on roads surrounded by buildings, malls, overheard bridges and big circular things called the Flyer? I think even those drivers used to street circuits will find Singapore streets rather different from what they have driven on before. And this will definitely impact on the excitement in the show.

Well, let’s hope for the best. We have 4 more years to go. If this time the show isn’t exciting enough, perhaps our million dollar ministers can think up of better ideas to make the show more exciting next year. I am sure that they are definitely free enough to think of such things, considering that they don’t do much after all. And they are the best talent money can buy. Now if they can’t think of brilliant ideas to help Singapore succeed, nobody can.

So I guess some of you guys will going to the F1 Show held at the Marina area from 26th to 28th of September right? It is ironic that in Singapore where the land is scarce and the entire island overcrowded, Singaporeans love their cars and they love racing. You know, people go ga-ga over some uber expensive car with some huge spoiler which nobody in their right mind will be willing to drive it on the roads of Singapore. I mean yes, it does look good and cool but what’s the point?I guess if more you can’t have it, the more appealing it will be. It is no wonder Singapore has so many cars on the roads.

And don’t you think it is weird that Singapore is holding a racing show? Come on, Singapore is so small and overcrowded. Plus it is so warm. I won’t want to be sitting in the hot sun sweating with thousands of others waiting for a vehicle to come round the track once every 15 minutes which I will then glimpse for about 10 seconds before it disappears around the other corner . Of course, the race in Singapore is held at night but that’s not the point. The point is that it is causing a lot of problems in Singapore, especially for those working in the area. Just imagine traffic jams, road closures, road diversions, blocked pathways, constructions, inconveniences and so on.  Sure, it brings in the money and tourists but in my opinion, the cost outweighs the benefits.

Anyway, before I go off track and start talking about something else, I think I will head back to the main topic, which is tips for going to the Singapore F1 show.  So if you are going to the F1 show, I would recommend you guys to do the followin:

1. Take the public transport! Seriously, the traffic is going to be extremely congestion during the F1 period. You will bound to be caught in a jam whether you are going into the Marina Area or when you are leaving.
2. Water bottles (with water). Even in the evening or at night, the weather is still rather warm in Singapore. And with the crowd and the excitement, you will bound to feel the heat, so make sure you have enough water to drink.
3. Don’t bring your kids to the F1. I have seen idiots bringing their toddlers and babies to IT shows before. Those fools push their prams in such an overcrowded condition and thus creates even more chaos and human congestion. If you do that at the F1 Show, you are the ultimate idiot and someone should run you down.
4.  If you are driving, you will need a special pass to enter the restricted zone at the Marina area. If you don’t have the special pass, you will not be allowed to enter those areas. So if you are driving but you don’t have the special pass, please park somewhere else and take the free bridging service to your designated “screaming” gallery. Even if you have the special pass, just think of the traffic condition at the Marina area and then be smart and park somewhere else as well.
5. Come early. Even if you take the public transport, there will always be someone blocking your path. There are a lot of sissy walkers in Singapore who can’t walk normally. If you are driving, parking is going to be  a very serious problem for you. So, try and come early to the show. Imagine the congestion if everyone comes at 7pm!
6. If you are driving, please drive carefully. Singaporeans are a very impatient lot. So when it comes to jams and traffic lights, Singaporeans can’t wait and they get pissed and angry. However, it is ironic that Singaporeans are more than willing to queue for silly Hello Kitty dolls and first edition cash cards.
7. Plan! Where are your seats located? Which gallery? Where are the nearest carpark? How do are you going to get there.
8. Sleep early the previous night. Obvious why.
9. Bring binoculars. Don’t expect to be so close to the action. Most of the galleries are located rather far from the track so you won’t be seeing much if you don’t have a binoculars.
10. Have fun! Not sure how they do it, but I am sure that most of the crazies attending the F1 show will enjoy themselves. Crazy people.

Well, these are the tips have I for those going to the Singapore F1 show. Good luck and bring some ear plugs to the show. For more information on road closures and diversions, please refer to LTA’s website.

Isn’t life just great. And now it happens in Singapore as well. What am I talking about? Well, I am talking about the Singapore Beer Festival. What else do you think I am talking about? Life is nothing without beer. And if you have a festival which celebrates great tasting beer, then surely you have to agree with me that life is great.

If you have no idea what is the Singapore Beer Festival all about, then allow me to enlighten you. It is 3 days pf great food, great entertainment and most importantly sampling the world’s greatest and finest beers. There will be a showcase of 290 of the world’s best beers and I was told that the will be some very rare beers available as well. For that alone, it’s an opportunity not to be missed. For entertainment, I believe ASH is coming to town for the festival and they will be performing. And at the festival itself, you will find stand-up comedians, shows, live band, golf and perhaps even dancing and stuff. Yup, what is a festival without any dancing? Of course, if you are looking at a beer festival, I am quite certain that dancing is not recommended. You don’t want drunk people dancing. Some might even fall and hurt or kill themselves. And dancing drunks with short skirts and a beer belly at beer festivals might attract insults from other men, and their boyfriends might start fighting. We won’t want that to happen in Singapore. We “got” morals here and people who will die when they dance and fall or when they fight for their womens’ honour. Don’t play play.

The event will be held at Fort Canning Park from 2nd of October to 5th of October. And if you buy your ticket early, you have to pay S$95 per person or S$128 for 2. This includes drinks and vouchers worth S$100. I am not sure what the voucher is for, but I am guessing it should be used to redeem more beers or food? Who knows? Who cares? To purchase tickets, you will need to visit Sistic.

For more information, please visit Singapore Beer Festival website: Singapore Beer Festival 2008. It is a good time to get drunk unless you are driving.

Yes, finally tomorrow is Singapore’s National Day. It’s a day where we celebrate our country’s birth from a small seaside kampong to a thriving city state which is now full of concrete buildings and noisy cars. I guess we Singaporeans should all be proud of what we have achieved throughout the tough times, especially in the beginning. Well, I am. I hope more Singaporeans will take a look at our own history and realize that we did a good job. And when I said this, I mean all Singaporeans contributed to the development of our country. It is not just the work of a few people wearing white either. It’s the hardwork, the sweat and the blood of all Singaporeans which make Singapore as successful as it is today. Don’t let some uncaring elite tell you otherwise.

I would like to tell all Singaporeans to go out and celebrate our nation’s birthday. Even if you are against our ruling party’s policies and detest their arrogance and greed, you should go and enjoy tomorrow, you deserve it. We must know the difference between our country and the ruling party. Although the elites try their best to blur the lines, I have to tell Singaporeans to not to be influenced by them. Singapore is our country. Whatever party controlling the government is not Singapore itself, they are just a group of people (either good or bad).

I know that it is different to do so. Our media is constantly bombarding Singaporeans with nonsense about our country and what some elites have done and that Singapore cannot survive without them. And I even more worried about our young when they have this kind of mentality. But what to do? We can only hope for the best and prepare for the worse right?

So, let’s go celebrate and ignore all the propaganda dished out by our media, okay?

Well, Singapore’s national day is coming soon. It’s on the 9th August and on that day we celebrate the birth of our nation. Yes, we have come far and we Singaporeans have build up Singapore to what it is now. A lot of our parents and our peers toll day and night with sweat and blood to achieve what nobody believed Singapore can achieve. For that, I am proud. I would like to repeat that I am proud of what SINGAPOREANS themselves have achieved. It is not a single individual or a single entity that is solely responsible for Singapore’s success, no matter what our newspapers and media tells us. Collectively, we are the ones that make Singapore as it is today.

However, even with National Day coming soon, I don’t see many residents hanging flags. In the past, I remembered seeing a lot of Singaporeans hanging the Singapore flag outside their flats. In fact, I once saw an entire housing estate with nearly every HDB block hanging flags in every single unit. No, they are not done by the RC or by some government agency but by the residents themselves. Hmmm….what a difference a decade can make. When I came back from work yesterday, I had a look at my block and there are about 4-5 flags out of about 150 units hanging currently. Sad but true.

Perhaps Singaporeans are too busy trying to survive than to worry about hanging flags and looking nationalistic? Perhaps most of the housing units are owned or rented out to foreigners who don’t like the Singapore flag? Perhaps the cost of flags is so expensive now due to inflation that most of us can’t afford a flag? Perhaps Singaporeans feel that Singapore today is NOT what they envisioned and they are expressing their disgust by NOT hanging the flag? Perhaps Singaporeans worry that hanging the Singapore flag will somehow create another round of inflation just like raising of their wages? Perhaps Singaporeans are no longer proud to be Singaporeans? Perhaps Singaporeans are afraid that by hanging the flag, they are painting a big red cross for Mas Selemat, the JI leader whom the government allowed to escape, to target them? Or perhaps all the Singaporean women have became maids in other countries and thus there are no one left to hang the flags? Who knows?

And yes, hanging the flag doesn’t mean that you love the country. Any Tom, Dick and Harry can hang the flag, even those who seek to destroy our country from the inside can hang the flag.

Now, that’s one huge hypermarket! I think it is bigger than the one at Vivocity. It’s like neverending rows of stuff nicely arranged for your convenience so that you can start buying. I always enjoyed window shopping. Just go around and take a look at the goods and prices offered. Of course, I do buy some stuff once in a while. Usually some food stuff or perhaps even snacks. However, I normally go there on the weekdays and seldom do I see a crowd. In fact, the only crowd I see is at the food court and only during lunch hours. I guess this would be a great place to go if you hate the crowds and the supposed “excitement” often associated with crowds.

Anyway, there is a huge selection of stuff at Giant. I am sure that you will be able to find whatever you need there. And the prices at Giant is usually quite reasonable and considering that the rental there should be lower than the rental at Vivocity, perhaps they have more offers and discount at Tampines?

If you are thinking of going to the Giant Hypermarket, you an drive there. The plus point is the parking is free. Yes, you won’t find that often in Singapore anymore. Definitely more tempting than the one at Vivocity because the cost of parking (plus the crowd) at Vivocity is like crazy. If you are taking the bus, you can stop at Tampines MRT Station or Bedok MRT Station and take the free shuttle service. For Tampines MRT Station, the pickup point is at Tampines Central 4. For Bedok MRT Station, the pickup point is just at the bus stop in front of the Bus Interchange/Food Centre. The shuttle service comes about once every 30 minutes.

Oh, I forgot to mention, there is Ikea and Courts nearby too.

Yes, I have thought of it for a long long time and after much reflection and deep mediation, I have finally found the solutions. We Singaporeans have been facing the problem of inflation for way too long and now, it’s time for us to fight it. Inflation will not go away just because we want it to go away. We need to do something and something quick to help ourselves. I have complied the solutions and ways for you to combat the inflation we see rampant in Singapore in a very handy point form. You see I am nice.

1. Take the public transport. Duh! The price of fuel is rising like nobody’s business and if you drive, you are just encouraging prices of petrol or diesel to rise even more. of course, if you take the public transport, it will also encourage the public transport operators to increase their fares. It’s a sword that cuts both ways, whatever that means.Plus, let’s say if you drive, your traveling time would take about 30 minutes, but if you take the public transport, you could potentially spend hours in those slow moving trains or buses. It’s actually better this way. Most people will spend those time saved by buying 4D or sitting around the coffee shops drinking and smoking.

2. Don’t use the air-conditioner. I know Singapore is very warm these days. And the fan is merely blowing hot air back to you and you are starting to sweat like a pig or worse. What’s worse than a sweating pig? Anyway, you can really save a lot of money by not using the air-conditioner. However, I have another option for you. Go to those shopping malls and enjoy the air-conditioner there. It’s free and you can also enjoy the scenery there. But then, being in a shopping mall with so many stuff with “discounts” and “offers”, you could be tempted to buy a lot of stuff which you don’t need. Well….

3. Eat frozen stuff. That’s what the government is telling the poor people to do. And I agree completely. Frozen stuff are cheap and although they are often of poor quality and can taste bad plus frozen foods may contain preservatives, I think it’s still a good way to save some money for yourself. And more so if you are poor. You don’t really deserve anything. Of course, it could mean that you have to visit the clinic more often because of your poor health, but why worry about that? Your CPF medisave should cover a little.

4. Eat at home. Don’t go to the hawker centres and pay a leg and a hand for your food. As above, buy frozen food and cook yourself. If you are a good cook or somebody who knows cooking is cooking for you, then you are lucky. If not, you will be eating burnt food which can taste horrible. But then you are here to save money and nothing is better at saving money than cooking yourself. You shouldn’t complain, there are people in other countries who don’t even have food at all. You should be grateful and thankful to be living in Singapore and all hail our leaders.

5. Switch off the lights. One of my most “brilliant” ideas is for you guys to switch off the lights at night. Why waste electricity? You guys are not doing anything productive anyway right? If you need to do your office work at home, don’t. It’s better for you to stay in the office late and work. Heck, why not just stay in the office for the night? That way, you can save on transport as well. Plus, you can even rent out your house for some spare change.

If fact, I think it would be better for Singapore to switch off all the lights on the streets. What are people doing in the streets at this time of the night? Mostly are getting drunk or eating expensive food. That will definitely not help Singaporeans save money and that’s what we should be doing at this time to fight inflation. Also not going out saves on transport cost. You kill two birds with one stone.

Well, that’s all I have for you. Please consider all these points and take note that I have thought long and hard and these are my solutions. They may be difficult solutions but it’s better for us to all take our medicine sooner rather than later. More good years ahead!